Couldn't Do It To Myself

Okay, I can't deal with the RSS thing. Not the problems I have with adding the RSS links to GTP, but plain and simple I can't stand being cut off from my friends. It really drives me nuts.

I may not always have the opportunity to jump on and post, but oh well. I still keep track of tidbits here and there on my G-Reader so it's no big deal. It's just too bad I don't get the full post at least.

Still, I'm watching and actually sort of replying. I've used the G-Reader to leave my thoughts on friends blogs here and there, but I think I clogged it up with crap loads of news I read over the last few weeks as well. So, that won't be a great link to give out either. LOL Man, my life is insane right now. It's really not that bad actually, it's just so stupid.

I'm sure you've all heard about all the financial problems we're having as an economy and it's affecting everyone in a really big way. I've been spending a lot of time boning up on certain issues to better understand what's going on around me. I think I've actually learned quite a bit. Before all this crap used to put me to sleep, but now things are a bit different.

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with everything I'm reading that I just can't look at another headline and other times I'm just voracious about it. Of course, it doesn't really seem like it's getting me anywhere because it's not like I can really write about it. Because I'm registered I wouldn't be able to talk about the securities I'm interested in. I mean I could, but if anyone ever looked at what I'm doing online I could get into trouble and I wouldn't want to lose my license because someone looked at what I was saying, bought something, lost everything and blamed me. Not that anyone would...I say up front... I've no clue what I'm doing here. I'm still learning.

I've been through some pretty messed up things this year. Lots of ups and downs as I'm sure everyone here has. There's so much more I want to write about, but I just can't. No one is stopping me of course...I just can't. I guess I'm at a bit of a crossroads. So, I've just been enjoying my cell phone to the maximum with posts to Utterli. It's a nice way to pass the time in my car on the way home from work. I hate being stuck in traffic and sometimes everyone I know is busy so...at least I feel like I have company. I guess I'm weird that way.

Yesterday for some retarded reason I decided I needed to create some LOLZCatz. I posted one here, but the rest are on my Picasa. Don't even know why I loaded them there. It's a pain in the neck to get them off and they limit your download. Still, it was easy.

See, I recently downloaded the Google Chrome browser (too glitchy) and the Picasa 3 beta. I'd never pay to use that service, but I do like the way Picasa pics up all the pictures on my computer then allows me to manipulate them in various ways. I've actually created a few video's with music. I've altered the text (pic above) to make fun pictures with ease. And the picture tools to change the contrast, highlight and shadow are actually better than Microsoft's. I especially like the extra features for adding texture, glow and warmth. There are loads of other features that come with it and it doesn't seem to take up much space on my PC which is really great.

Don't know how this post turned into a Picasa rant, but it did. All I know is I really like it. Oh, I can also send to blogger, youtube and geotag. I mean this thing does a crap load of things, though if it were connected to Flickr it would be even better. HAHAHA!

Then again, talks are in the works about a Google/Yahoo merger (monopoly much?) so you never know. A Picasa/Flickr merge might come into play sometime in the future.

OH CRAP! And did you guys hear about the Google Phone aka Gphone aka Android aka Dream? T-Mobil FINALLY announced it yesterday. I have to say I'm disappointed. Although I fully expected to pay for the phone itself I thought they would stick to their original plan of providing free service for people willing to be inundated with ads. If I could save $110 dollars monthly I'd spending it buying crap online on my Gphone. I'm still not sure what this freakin company is planning on doing or what the phone plans will entail, but the phone itself is incredibly cheap and really could rival the iPhone. People just need to give it a chance.

Problem is that the buzz is going around that Google is just too big. It's like they're being set up for a big fall. If Google haters get their wish all their badmouthing is going to make them fail. Granted if they hook up with Yahoo that means they'll be affiliated with AT&T...I hate AT&T right now, I hate them but good. That's what I meant by the monopoly reference earlier...you know, in case you missed it. :P

Well, that's it for today. I'll chime in here and there.

Take care guys!

*JEEZUS! Now I remember why I'm not writing as much anymore. Both my wrists won't stop cracking and I've only been writing steadily for about 15 minutes! Okay, maybe 20...LOL Could be less. :P I need to remember to slow down.

WOW! Check out who's on my front G-Reader page!

"A look at what's new
CHRIS-Thinblue (1)
What is currently written in your motto on your Xbox LIVE profile and is there a story behind it? - 09/24/08 Vote for mccain / palin do I need to explain? It's simple they are my choice for next president. The other is a cool goofy name me and marinew sniper came up with at work one day so I put it on as a koke it is my sexy latin lover name! LOL
See more from gtp-friends (10) "

Maha's Fav's: GTP UTTERLI MISCELLANISTS

MGZ Avatar

MGZ Avatar
Originally uploaded by Maharet Raider

but what it is for? i still don't know. lol

larry flint is still alive...did you know that? i could have sworn he was dead by now. wow.

adding some more crap to this post to see if it gets picked up on gamertagpics...still trying here. :(

Just (global) warming up - 09/16/08

you know, my thoughts exactly rex. global warming is nothing but a farce! lol :P

actually i blame it all on the cows.

 

 

Sent to you by Maharet via Google Reader:

 

 

Just (global) warming up - 09/16/08

via DILLIGAF REX Rss Blog on 9/16/08

What are your thoughts on Global Warming?  I don't buy into it. Climate change - I believe in. But man made global warming? No. Sure alot of things aren't great for the ozone layer, but let's be realistic here. There was an ice age once. Just about the entire planet was covered in ice. But look at it now. Hmmmm, makes one wonder how the planet got out of that nest since there was no man - no petrol - no sprays or hydrocarbons....my guess? Natural climate change. The earth changes, it's a

 

 

Things you can do from here:

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the mental mind fuck

Blame Your Green Eyes
Originally uploaded by grandvizierpaul

how do you know you're getting mentally screwed? Xx MCRgirl Xx knows...

i was just catching up on a blog here and there when i ran into MCRgirl's post:    i just don't understand..

it was such an interesting subject that i had to write a comment and you know when my comment turns into a post that something touched a nerve!:

my comment:

i'm not about to advise anyone but here's what i found interesting, "time alone and We'll most likely get back together at the end of the week" sounds a bit fishy to me...fishy meaning, he found another fish to play with and is keeping you on the side until he's done. if you do stay together and you found out he was with someone else while he needed "alone time" he could very easily say that you two weren't exactly together at the time.


if you accept this (and by the sound of it you don't)it will lead you down a road of worthless relationships and will most likely continue to be taken advantage of for YEARS to come. people like that think they're smart because they can get into your head. the fact that you've publicly announced that he's fucking with you is proof that he pissed you off and actually gave it a second thought.


if i were you i'd NEVER think about it again. move on and be happy. i know it hurts, i remember, but you know one thing i would never do is let anyone know how hurt i am. i wouldn't even give him the satisfaction of knowing that he so much as pissed me off or that he or anything he did mattered to me at all. that's what i was like when i was your age and as far as i'm concerned it worked out just fine for me. :P by the way, you've got the right idea about not sitting there like a dumbass playing his stupid games. unless his mother died he doesn't need time. man, this comment turned into a book so i'm blogging it down. :P take care!

my thoughts:

people think it's easy to talk about the way you feel on a blog because you're not actually facing anyone. well, it's not easy especially if you don't know how to communicate well and in my honest opinion MCRgirl can do just that. her writing is direct and to the point and spills out of her brain like a colorful flurry of jax on concrete. i loved jax when i was a kid.

now if there is anything i've learned from my very colorful life is that getting into a relationship after having just ended one is usually a very bad idea. people that get into relationships one after the next usually have MAJOR self esteem problems. (did i just admit something?) relationships formed on the fly typicically will not last, likely due to the fact that there was no time taken to properly choose the next candidate up for mate of the year. personally speaking tis better to wait and perhaps date a little, though even then i'd avoid the "rebound" dater as it will usually lead to nowhere's ville right quick.

how can i say things with such certainty? i committed the dreded rebound boyfriend faux pas of the century. in fact, i wasn't even "officially divorced"...to be honest i wasn't exactly dating either. * cough *  WHORE! * cough * here's the thing, when you get together with someone that just got out of a relationship you're taking the chance that you just won't matter; that you're just another stomped on dry leaf while the rebounder treads a previously untrodden path towards self discovery or perhaps worse, another real relationship.

you know what i say? FUCK ALL THAT! stay out of the way, keep clear, danger will robinson DANGER! a rebounder is like running with the bulls in spain, injuries are common, you may be gored, and  trampled underhoof. the rebounder could become disoriented when seperated from the herd and will oftentimes attack the first thing that gets in it's way or any person who has the misfortune to be stuck in it's path. the rebounder could, in it's wake, leave nothing but death, destruction and broken hearts.

so respect the rebounder and the rebounder will respect you... should the rebounder not respect you then feel free to kick it in the balls, but stand back... they kick back.

this important life saving message was brought to you by MAHARET girl gamer extraordinaire.

thank you and have a great day.

stilletoe heel 2

stilletoe heel 2
Originally uploaded by carla.marriott

Do you wear trainers/sneakers most or shoes?

mostly heels or stilleto's at work...with really long pants. i'm not big on the foot fetish thing which is why i don't want to see your feet... like ever so i definately don't appreiciate those thong sandals.

if i spot someone on the street barefoot i cringe. and if you can't walk barefoot in your home and still have clean feet then you have a serious fucking problem. i have MAJOR issues with dirty feet.... dirty anything, but dirty feet is a huge problem for me. makes my fucking gut churn.

ღThat's.What.Friends.Are.For ღ

ღThat's.What.Friends.Are.For ღ
Originally uploaded by ღ M!ss P!NK ღ

To what lengths would you go to for a friend from GTP?

i suppose it depends on what the situation would be. it doesn't matter to me whether i've met you face to face or just game with you. if i consider someone a friend, they're a friend for life until they give me a reason not to be.

thing about me is that you won't even know if you pissed me off. that's just me of course. i've bent over backwards for my friends before and asked for nothing in return. could i give someone money if they needed it desperately? nope. i can't even afford to pay my car note right now, but i could easily offer a friend a roof, not for free. don't get any ideas.

would i hide a secret? yes and no. i have a hard time lying, but not a hard time "not telling", so if you have a terrible secret i won't tell anyone about it. as long as it's not hurting someone else and no one asks me directly your secret will remain safe.

you know one thing that i will always do for a friend from gtp? sign up on yet another retarded social networking site just because they want me to.

but will anyone do that for me? NOOOOOOOOO. boo hiss boo. :P

GTPLoves Labours Lost

Loves Labours Lost
Originally uploaded by Rich Brown Photography

i was a baby?

Mich At 2 & Mom
Originally uploaded by Maharet Raider

Everyone love's baby/kid photo's, are you brave enough to show your baby/kid pics ?

oh lord...i searched and searched on flickr and i finally found one. actually i found a few, but they're all horrible. i wasn't a very attractive baby. LOL

this picture has followed me around for a really long time. i'm glad i was able to scan it. one day i'll have it restored. it's one of the only pictures i have with just my mom and i.

i eat cow

carcass
Originally uploaded by dntworryaboutit

batman- Do you eat red meat?

oh yes...i eat red meat. the redder the better in fact. i love the way rigid cooks my steaks. nice and fucking bloody. the more blood the better. i do however get irritated if the blood touches my mashed potatos. i don't like to eat bloody mash, just bloody meat.

and what's wrong with that? i eat cow. so what? i probably should eat more veggies but i don't. probably why my hair is falling out too. granted i don't eat meat all the time. well red meat.

chicken is my favorite. chicken and pork...okay, chicken, pork, lamb and beef... and tuna. TUNA!!! oh...and goat. i like goat too.

gaming friends until the end

Friends forever. Together again!
Originally uploaded by delitefulimage

out of all the gaming friends you've ever had in your whole gaming life who do you still wish you had?

ah... old pals, old buddies, old pals. i have a lot of friends that i don't have on my list anymore. some i remember fondly, some...not so much, but i still wish i could game with them.

but you know it's like in everyday life. sometimes you outgrow each other, go your seperate ways, break off your friendship or just...lose touch. but all my old friends know my gamertag and i can be easily found again.

the brood will always be there for you and so will i. i can always make room on my friends list for an old pal, a long lost love or an old nemesis. everyone is welcome. :)

Rex Misquoted Twice and Maha's Epiphany

diaper check
Originally uploaded by somesai

On: Thu, Jun 19, 2008 8:25:57 Rex said:

"Naked bareback horseriding? I'd have to take a pass - I could just imagine all those horse hairs grinding up me arse - no thanks" by DILLIGAF REX on F1-Jet-Sub-Naked horseback riding (WHAT?!?!?!?!)

On: Sun, Jun 22, 2008 3:01:46 PM Rex's Thought for the day quoted Steven R. Covey:

"Live out of your imagination, not your history."

maha said: "hmmm...i don't get it. live out of your imagination...not history.... i don't have the imagination to understand how not to live out my history or what exactly living out my history means. that tinsy little sentence it too complex for my brain. now you did it! i'll have to google the damn answer again."

DILLIGAF REX said: "It basically means: The past is like your ass - it's behind you! If you dwell in the past you will never open yourself up to a better future. ; )"

maha said: "WOW! you put that in the simplest terms that even a retard like me could understand. my past truly IS like my ass. behind me, getting older every day, and a little saggy. sometimes you have fond memories of it, but when you think about it too much just reminds you how fucking horrible it is to think about it all the time. all you know is you want to pretend it doesn't exist! FUCK ME! thanks rex. you totally cleared that up for me. lmfao!!! what's funny is that i really did look it up, but never had the chance to find my answer. what would i do without you? :)"

SO, i'd like to take the time to thank Rex with the above picture. it was actually an accident as i only had the first quote shown there which i had created the day i read his post last week. the second conversation, inspired by our chat about the second quote, seemed to fit really nicely here as well. i can't stop smiling in fact and people are walking by wondering what kind of drugs i'm on... so thanks rex!

all of this lead me to an ephiphany. it seems strange to quote my self but there you have it:

"i don't have the imagination to understand how not to live out my history or what exactly living out my history means." by the mighty maharet - life ponderer

basically, though i've tried to think of ways how "not" to live in the past i find i can't live without living in the past; you see, it's a very fine line for me, one that is always a bit smudged and it's always been a part of who i am. not that it was meant to be understood by anyone but me OR that i even understood my own comment until rex clarified the meaning of his quote.

strange the way the brain works isn't it? and don't you love my double negatives??? i do. i tell you it's an art form unto itself. :P

Misfortunes Unmade

Beautiful Angel
Originally uploaded by Maharet Raider

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult" ~ Seneca aka Seneca the Younger

my title makes no sense, not to you at least. it makes perfect sense to me though. i was about to start my daily blog reading. it's one of the first things i do at work if i'm able to, though i admit i do not always have the time. the second blog i got to was rex's and it was a fine post. i always enjoy reading my friends blogs no matter the content and his "thought of the day" is always interesting.

today's "thought of the day" really got me though.

i'm fucking angry. i'm getting angrier and angrier at work each and every single day. i've been angry for a long time, but now it's even worse. now that i'm a "registered" sales assistant/associate/whatever-the-fuck-you-want-to-call-me and i'm looking down the barrel of another exam after the exam i'm about to take this saturday and i'm STILL not being paid properly i think i'm a little entitled.

part of the problem has been my inability to speak up. yeah, don't look at me like that. my inability to speak up. i know, i write a lot, i speak my mind a lot... A LOT... i get it. not at work. no, at work it's a completely different issue though not when it comes to my health, safety and emotional well being. my financial health, safety and well being on the other hand is a completely different story.

ask me how many times i've EVER asked for a raise. EVER. ask me in the WHOLE THAT IS MY LIFE when i last asked for a raise. i don't think i need to answer that at this point. i can feel the veins in my neck fucking pulsating!!!!!!

why then. why would i not ever, not even once ask for a raise. pride? fear? or could it be a deep and foreboding sense of the misfortune my life will forever bring me. why the foreboding? because i'm worthless, not good enough, inutil, valueless, idle, incompetent, unproductive, uninspired, unimportant, unlearned, and just completely useless. and i hate myself for it. i fucking hate myself because i know, I KNOW that i'm not!

i'm not any of those things, but when it comes to money it's how i feel. and i don't know what it is. rigid tells me that it's like i want to suffer. that i don't want to come out of the hole i'm in because i like to feel the pain i'm in. i'm a sales assistant and the brokerage firm i work for pays my bills. i don't have "set hours", i get to leave early on fridays, i get paid vacations, great health and life insurance, bonuses at the end of the year, my 401k is matched monthly plus i get bonus for that at year end as well. sounds nice doesn't it?

i was paid just under 30m a year for the first 4-5 years that i worked here. seriously, at one point it was 29,998 for almost 2-3 years in a row. since the firm was bought out we got all those extras up there plus yearly raises and i'm doing a lot better than before, but not by much. certainly not well enough that i can support two people in the lap of luxury. i would settle for comfort. i can't even afford to pay my dmv or buy a new FUCKING bedspread.

so now i'm registered with the series 7 and saturday i WILL pass the series 66. and no, i probably won't be paid as i should in this office, but i can find another agent or firm and plant myself there. OR i can actually get off my ass and start speaking to these people i'm working with, tell them how much more useful i could be for them and give them an ultimatum. i need to make a minimum amount of money to survive each month. i'm not even making that much. so that when an emergency arises, an additional bill, a late fee or payment comes up my entire financial world comes crashing down around me.

and it's my fault yes, but times are tough and will only get tougher. i can't wait until the economy starts picking up again. i can't wait until we're out of the "trough". i need to clench my ass cheeks together, stick my hand out and open my mouth. and if someone tries to shove a finger up my ass, i'll rip them a new one so they can poke that one instead and i'll simply move on.

i've said it before and i will probably say it a million more times.

your life is only as difficult as you want it to be. YOU decide your future, only you can make it happen and only you can change it.

why oh fucking why can i not take my own advice? when i read rex's blog and i read that quote it was like my brain suddenly let out this HUGE fucking fart.

here i'll give it to you again in case you forgot it already:

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult" ~ Seneca aka Seneca the Younger

i am that person that makes her life more difficult than it should be and refuses to do anything about it to make it easier. i do want to suffer. i think i like it. it's like when i was a child and i would bind my eyes, arms or legs together to play this sick twisted game of affliction. i would practice being physically disabled. not for attention or for sympathy. in fact i don't think i've ever written this. i did it, i practiced just in case something ever happened to me because if something unfortunate did happen not only would i be prepared, but no one would really expect much from me and deep inside that relieved a lot of pressure.

you see, i was a smart kid. i wasn't great at school, but in any exam or IQ test i was always above average so the teachers knew i'd be great at whatever i decided to do, which is why they couldn't understand why i didn't get straight A's in class. the first thing teachers always commented on was the fact that my test scores are so good but because my homework wouldn't get done, done properly or i'd miss so much school it dropped my grade significantly. they would show me all my scores every step of the way, show my mother and ask her what she does for me at home...you know, all that good stuff.

still despite my mother's involvement or lack of involvement my problem never changed. i was an above average student with below average grades. by the time i hit the 7th grade i knew my life would go no where. i knew i'd never go to college, i'd never be a great success and that i'd be lucky to be a housewife. rather than feel the weight of that knowledge i'd bury myself at home in dreams, books,stories and fables. i would try my very best to ignore the fact that i was too smart to remain oblivious of my reality and too disadvantaged or ignorant to really do anything to change it.

this is why i hoped that one day all that would be expected of me is that i breath, walk, talk and find my way around. no one would ever then look at me and say, "wow, such a smart girl. too bad she never did anything with herself, but what can you expect from someone like that?"

the sad thing is that i have no idea where those thoughts came from. no one put them in my head. i never heard anyone say "you'll never make it.". no one ever told me, "you can't be any better than you already are." or "you're just not smart enough." quite the opposite in fact. it's me. it's always been me and it was something that my mom just didn't know and wouldn't be able to understand. she always told me how smart i was, and how impressive or creative i was. unfortunately her fondest desire for me was that i would meet a man that could take care of me, and spent a lot of trying preparing me to be the best housewife for him. i learned piano, how to entertain a guest, how to prepare and plan engagments, how to hold a glass, pick up a fork, pair dinner with wine, behave at the table, clean, cook, sew by hand, with a machine, bake and decorate cakes, pies and how to press and clean my mans clothes. press...not just iron. PRESS.

????

um... yeah, well. she ended up learning pretty quickly that most of that knowledge would be fairly wasted on me. i couldn't learn the notes, couldn't grasp the concept of a ruler for sewing ( my god are those some crazy curvy measuring tools) and press for fucks sake? forget about the fact that i couldn't clean my own bedroom. one time she said to me, "mija, i don't understand you. if you ever find a husband, you better hope he's a patient man because no one would ever put up with a woman that can't clean her own home. and let me tell you, you will never find him."

wow. WOW FOR YOU MOM! let's not go there because none one that was really the point was it?

then there's this one, it's my favorite, "you know, you should just quit school and get a job. by the time i was your age i already had a job." of course, i still can't figure out if that was part of her "tough love" thing. i had a hard time getting out of bed every day and i learned to make a lot of excuses about school, i was great at forgery and i mean like fucking masterful and i didn't like going to class because it was pointless. i just faded away anyway so i clearly did not give two shits let alone one.

i could go on forever at this point, but i do have to study. i have a lot to study in fact. it's taken me a long time to get here. without my husband i don't think it would have been possible. not at all. rigid has given me the courage to be myself, be a part of something bigger, take a plunge, the first step...all of that bullshit that i couldn't do on my own. if it weren't for his insane way of thinking and doing things i wouldn't have been half driven out of my fucking mind and i would never have gone to see my dr. drugpusher about my issues.

i can see my world in a completely different way now. i am worth it, i am useful and i am extremely efficient...here's the difference. i truly believe it. deep down inside that sense of self worth is slowly emerging and when i'm ready my mouth will come open and if i don't get what i need i'll be prepared to move on, i'll dare to move on.

rigid pressed my shirt today.

* snicker *

okay, no he didn't, but he made me special starbucks coffee. i stole it from work. LMFAO!!!

It's A Pirates Life For Me!

Would you give up your current life to be a pirate?

i wouldn't have to give up a thing matey. i'm already a pirate. i just disguise me voice and me accent...i'm a spy pirate...argh.
ya...argh.

actually, i have a pirate family...um...pirates and carebears. the pink fuzzy kind. we plunder once or twice a year. sometimes more depending on candy necessity. candy and gold foil chocolates. you gotta have the gold foil chocolates. i thought we were the only pirates in the family, but it turns out our family is rather large.

in fact....




we have many family portraits. here from left to right is darklight the pirate, pumpo the pirate and our good friend aerogal the pirate from orange county.

we don't have many get togethers but when we do we like to take lots of pictures. you never know when you might need to blackmail a pirate.

that's rigid the raider with some big hairy dude called jason butongueer. i think that's a nice picture.

yeah...

sometimes things can get a little hairy around the equipment. you know pirates and their canons... crazy pirates.

i have loads more crazy pirate pictures but i'm going to run out of space soon.

clearly this pirate has nothing to do today so i think i'm off for a nice pirate ciggy...

FAME! I Wanna Live Forever!

game with fame: rainn wilson
Originally uploaded by pinksage

Microsoft has their "Game with fame" series, what celebrity do you most want to play with/against?

rainn wilson! lmfao!!! i flickr'd "game with fame" and his pic was came up so i just posted it. a long time ago pumpo had a girlfriend named crazyvampiremovielady with dried grass yellow hair. she likes to write and make movies, like really bad ones. so naturally she had pumpo direct one of her films. boy...phff.

rainn wasn't in that one. my foot was though! so if you look up my name it'll be ALL over the internet under some movie title. you don't know my name. HAH! anyway, rainn was actually in one of her movies before he was anyone and before we met crazyvamplady. it was pretty awful. it hurt to watch it. i mean, truly...it hurt. i'm not even going to bother saying he's a bad actor. i'm not even going to bother saying he was worse in that short film. i'm not. *sarc*

so he was pretty fucking horrific and i never want to watch it again, BUT because this bastard subjected me to the horrendous mistake that was THAT movie I would LOVE to play with him and stomp him into the ground. then i'll make fun of him for being a mermaidmanthing and make him apologize for the last mimzy. seriously though...someone should.

don't get on me about the office now. we stole it from england and i'm embarassed about it. i don't care what anyone says. it's like we can't come up with out own shows. and if we do we leave them on cable to rip people off as long as humanly possible before they're released to the general public. sometimes i hate it here, but i'll tell you what? i wouldn't want to pay $110 bucks for 11 liters of petrol (about 10.5 gal). i just spoke to rigid's mom...that's insane.

INSANE!!!

Bloody Cheesegrater!

Product Placement.
Originally uploaded by Robyn Von Swank

quoting Gotham on Nightmare

"Playing as the Hulk is fine, but playing as Banner is like taking a cheese grater to your hand and cutting loose. I want everyone to think about that image for a couple of seconds. It is freaking you out isn't it?"

"Nearing the end of the mission, just when I was going to give this Banner mission a seal of approval, that's when things turned kooky badooky. Yeah I just made up a new phrase...why not? Kooky badooky is better then anything that Snoop Dog ever said and look how everyone seems to quote him."

"Doesn't it just sort of creep you out? Sitting in a chair, tied up being cheese grated to death, being awake and aware the entire time."

laughing my ass off the entire post!

gaming por vida

The Cost of Living
Originally uploaded by lungstruck

Will Rising Cost of Living Have an Effect on Gaming?

cost of living is on the rise as we've heard millions of times already and...they're not lying when they say there's no end in site. there really isn't. i mean, it will happen, we just don't know when.

luckily the video game are the type of consumer good that will tend to outpace the current economy. there's not much more that i could say on the subject without getting into trouble here, but i can say this much. of all the gaming stocks i follow i haven't really seen much of a change. they remain fairly unaffected despite rising cost of living and these horrible gas price hikes.

a lot of us probably don't realize it, but the gaming industry has a huge impact on our economy and will continue to do so in the coming years. i'm sure the industry will see hard times as many companies have and will within the gaming industry itself and others, but unlike others it will continue to thrive despite current hardships.

there could be many reasons for this. first of all consumer goods usually stand firm in a rising economy. that's because we need them. like...makeup. we need make up...everyone needs make up so a cosmetic's co would probably do well during trying times such as these.

I couldn’t say (even if I wanted to) how much better a gaming co would do versus a cosmetics co, but I can tell you this i'd rather drive my clunker, tighten my belt and buy video games instead of going to the movies or spending money on dinners that i really can't afford right now. will i buy as many new video games? Maybe, maybe not it depends on the game, but since my belt has gotten even tighter recently i've decided to enroll in gamefly. although i won't be making any new game purchases any time soon i do see myself making plenty of used game purchases to keep myself entertained between my netflix movie mailings and study breaks.

i see myself gaming the rest of my life as most gamers like me do...i doubt the gaming industry will ever really suffer all that much.

*disclaimer: this is not investment advice and should never be construed as advice because i don't know shit about anything. so if you run out and buy all kinds of gaming stocks and lose everything you own as a result then you're the idiot not me. so there. *raspberries*

supastaaaaaaaaaaa

Rock Band roadie
Originally uploaded by jaymiek

A choice between being a great singer or mastering a musical instrument, you would choose...

to be perfectly honest i don't think i could make a choice. i've always loved singing but after having choked (and i mean literally choked. i was getting a cold and my throat constricted.) in front of the entire school during a solo i've very rarely done any singing publicly. i mean...as publicly as singing in front of a large crowd of people.

i always wanted to learn guitar or drums, but i doubt i could ever sing and strum at the same time, let alone keep a beat. i put away my dreams of becoming a rock star/opera singer at the tender age of 13, but i'll never stop singing. SO i'll eventually get my rockband game and pretend i'm a star...hopefully i won't choke and if i do at least it's just the tv staring back at me.

Holding Onto My Future

Originally uploaded by wheresweevil

Would you move to another state to be with someone you cared about that you met off live?

i've been down this road before...twice in fact. i ended up with rigid as many people know...we fought pretty much like those dogs you see in that picture. ....we still fight that way, although not so much of the throwing stuff at his cranium kind of thing anymore.

sometimes i wonder if i had to do it all over again...would i? oh yes, i would. can you believe it? i'd re-do every slap, kick, hair pull all over again. i'd re-do the alarm clock in the ribs, pipe flute on the shoulder, tile past the ear and through the window, the mop toss, the tong toss, the broken glass. i'd redo the adderall, strattera, depakote, clonopin and whatever other drug got thrown in my direction just so i could cope with him.

i'd do it all again for him. just to have him near me. to hear his voice before i wake up. to feel his lips on my forehead before my eyes flutter open. to hear him tell me how much he loves me and how beautiful i am every single day. i don't talk about those things very much. i'm not big on affection or rather public display of affection.

i can tell you this much though. of all the blog's you've seen of me complaining. the anger and rage i've come to feel and share with everyone... it doesn't compare to the love and adoration i have for my husband. not even twofold. not many people understand that and it's part of the reason why sometimes they get this idea that they should hang around...like vultures.

well, one never knows what the future holds, but i don't know if i'd be able to hold on to my future without rigid.

Never To Dream Of Things To Come

3 A.M. Nyx's nightmare
Originally uploaded by moonsuzie

When was the last time you had a nightmare, and what happened?

i always have bad dreams, but i rarely have nightmares. i consider nightmares dreams that disturb you so badly that you wake up feeling scared, disoriented, sad or upset. my dreams can be very disturbing, but rarely are they so disturbing that i can't control them.

that's how much of a control freak i am. i will not allow my dreams to control my subconcious mind. if something begins to happen in my dream that is beyond anything i can handle i will change it. if i don't want something to touch me and it does, i make it go away. i think my brain hits a point where it can't take the terror that i'm about to feel and so makes everything sort of go away or change. like, hitting a save on your game before a crucial part, finishing then going back to that save to get a different ending. it's almost exactly the same.

i've dreampt of so many different things. from giant scaly/bony fish capable of swallowing my sister whole, stepping on half dead fetus', sharks flying out of the water trying to eat me, whales swimming next to me their tales flying through the air or giant waves crashing all around me threatening to take me away. i've even dreampt of fighting zombies, vampires and aliens. i think i ran away from a bear recently too...that was a strange one. it was just before the market started to go south in fact. i had that dream and the next day i came to work and you could hear it everywhere, the news that we'd just entered a bear market.

sometimes my dreams can be a little on the prophetic side. i actually used to practice and...well, it kind of worked. a little too well in fact so i stopped. i realized that i honestly didn't want to know. you can't always tell the difference between what's going to happen and what's just a dream. and some of the things i saw were pretty awful...i shot pumpo in the head once. i know that dream wasn't real, i mean i know it was just a dream, but i had just dreampt that two people would start talking again too. i mean these are guys that had no intention of ever speaking to each other again.

they'd fallen out and hadn't spoken in years. suddenly i had a dream that they were in the same room, that we all laughed in unision and had a wonderfully relaxed conversation. i remembered everything. the room, where everyone sat, but not what we were talking about or laughing about. i told pumpo everything and begged him to remember this time. he never remembered anything i told him, but this time he did.... just after it happened. so when i dreampt about shooting him i decided not to try to dream of things to come.

it's not worth knowing anything you don't really need to know. my grandfather would tell his daughters that if you have a dream that you don't want to come to pass tell someone. if you tell someone your dream it will not come to pass. he was wrong. i also found out that there was a history of witches on my gpappy's side.

that's right, my ancestors are a bunch of hags! well, the only thing i believe in is the power of the mind and all it's untapped glory. who knows what we're truly capable of given the chance.

Bats Misquoted: Queen of Anti-Thin

"Really? Are you kidding me? Who elected her Queen of the Anti-Thin?" Batman Gotham on The blog for thursday