LiveChanging Experiences

How has Xbox Live changed your life?

i'd love to say it hasn't, but it has. first, gaming on the xbox gave me my love of first person shooters. next live gave me a new perspective on the "live gaming" experience which used to only be available on the pc. i've met several people via xbox live and have made some really great friends.

people have asked me how i can be so into video gaming. some are actually still surprised that i'm a girl...shocker. a gamer is what i am and gaming is what i do. still i can go bouts where i'm doing nothing but gaming and bouts where i don't pick up the controller for months. it doesn't make me any more or less productive. not any more or less than going to the cinema or watching television while relaxing. it's entertainment on a different level though.

because the community is so connected it's easy to make friends and keep them for life. i have friends i've kept in touch with since 2003....dude, that's 5 years! it's more than a pen pal experience in that you're creating real friends on a more tangible scale all over the world.

here's something to think about though? what happens if you fall in love with your pal? what happens if you fall in love and he/she's on the other side of the world? now there's a life changing experience! there are so many similar stories out there that you would actually be surprised. meeting up and hooking up online are no longer rare occassions, but a fact of life.

personally, i think xbox live is changing the lives of a lot of people...and i get the feeling there's so much more on the horizon. it's so exciting i want to dance for joy...but i won't so i'll just let you enjoy rigid raider dancing for joy instead.

Maha's Fav's: GTP UTTERLI MISCELLANISTS

Rigid Farts In Public

i don't think there's any question here day 363
Originally uploaded by TeeRish

WildCookie's Topic's on GTP

What is your least favourite sound?

I think my least favorite sound has got to be every single time Rigid decides to fart in public. I will turn my nose, call him names, run away or smack him so long as I can get away with doing it and not call further attention to ourselves. Still, it’s those silent but deadly farts that kill me.

When we first met he used to do it all the time. it didn’t matter where we were either. For some reason it just didn’t concern him all that much that we’d only just met as though farting in public was something that the English do wherever they please. He acted like his farts smell like roses. Well, I taught him a thing or two. And he doesn’t really do that to me anymore. He’ll still fart in front of my friends, but you know I’m so used to it that it simply doesn’t bother me anymore.

He does it on purpose just to piss me off that’s the thing. If I pay attention to him he’ll do it all the more. Now, we hear him and we simply turn around and walk away. It’s rare that anyone actually say anything to him. We just giggle and shrug. It’s not the done thing in the States, but hell, if the English like farting in public who’s to stop them?

I’m joking, I know people don’t do this. I don’t think there’s a country in all the world where farting is socially acceptable. Some people I tell ya!

High Maintenance Biatch

High Maintenance

Originally uploaded by Tomme Hilton Gallery

Today's Episode: Do you consider yourself a high maintenance gamer friend? Is it really a big deal that your friends don't always send you a game invite when they see you're online? Do you take it personally or is this a pet peave you have about gamers in general? Has this ever started any "drama" for you in this regard and how did you deal with it?

The answer to that is very simple. No.

My attitude has always been this. I'm awesome and you want to be my friend. If you don't, go to hell. Just kidding. Actually, truth be told I simply don't have the time to game as much as I used to.

Also, I've just never been that way and I'm sure I still have plenty of old buddies on my friends list that can attest to it. I do, however, know quite a few people like that and have gone so far as to remove them, that is unless they remove me first. Either way it's great. The less you have to think about it the better.

I don't like being rude, don't get me wrong, but I don't have a problem with letting someone know if their irritating me. If they don't like it, that's just too much work so off you go.

My real friends know I'm a dedicated person and don't need me to be up their ass crack sniffing their shit all day long reassuring them that I'm there for them whenever they need me. I don't do clingy...I'm not good at it, but if someone came to me with a problem I'd do my best to help them out in any way I can. Even if it's just lending an ear.

I have two people in my life that are bitchy little gamers. My husband and my Exhusband. LOL!!! They're going to kill me, but they have their own set of standards in regards to xLive ettiquete and I've torn them a new one because of it on more than one occassion.

As far as I'm concerned, the minute you start bitching and moaning about "so and so didn't reply" or "so and so, never plays with me" and "so and so's not a real friend" wah wah wah...worlds smallest violin and all that. 

here's what i do. "hmmm, i haven't played with this dude in like... 2 yrs. I actually have no clue who he is." DELETE I expect the same treatment in return. If we have mutual friends we'll meet up again! RIGHT??? lol

Bats posts about a kid  who burned another kid alive. Terrible news

BATMAN GOTHAM:

4:11 PM (6 hours ago)

Are You F**king Kidding Me? - 09/25/08 

      I was thinking about something to write about and nothing was coming to mind, but then I watched the news and thanks to a jackass reporter I have something to write about. The news report was about a kid who poured gasoline all over another kid with the intent of setting him  on fire with a flare. Thankfully the gasoline doused kid was able to evade his attacker before that flare made this uglier story even more ugly. In this case the sympathy lies with the ki...

It's A Pirates Life For Me!

Would you give up your current life to be a pirate?

i wouldn't have to give up a thing matey. i'm already a pirate. i just disguise me voice and me accent...i'm a spy pirate...argh.
ya...argh.

actually, i have a pirate family...um...pirates and carebears. the pink fuzzy kind. we plunder once or twice a year. sometimes more depending on candy necessity. candy and gold foil chocolates. you gotta have the gold foil chocolates. i thought we were the only pirates in the family, but it turns out our family is rather large.

in fact....




we have many family portraits. here from left to right is darklight the pirate, pumpo the pirate and our good friend aerogal the pirate from orange county.

we don't have many get togethers but when we do we like to take lots of pictures. you never know when you might need to blackmail a pirate.

that's rigid the raider with some big hairy dude called jason butongueer. i think that's a nice picture.

yeah...

sometimes things can get a little hairy around the equipment. you know pirates and their canons... crazy pirates.

i have loads more crazy pirate pictures but i'm going to run out of space soon.

clearly this pirate has nothing to do today so i think i'm off for a nice pirate ciggy...

Buckshot's Misquoted Again!

Wordsworth misquoted
Originally uploaded by jazzbeat

another entry by buckshot george into my very special HALL OF MISQUOTED CLASSIC'S....

Bucky on topic: If you could switch places with another GTPer, which one and why?

"And yes, I have dreamed about what it would be like to be that smooooooth! Don't tell me you haven't! Let me tell you a little story, a few GTP guys were sitting in a Halo lobby, some ladies joined, and Huey simply said "Who wants to play Team Slayyyyyeeerrrr". The women went crazy, and the guys had to leave as we all sounded like Joe Pesci in comparison! The man with the voice that melted a million hearts, was once told by his parents (Barry White and Kathleen Turner) that "with great power, comes great responsibility". Just imagine if it fell into the wrong hands, and Buckshot had the voice of Huey! I think the world would be in grave danger.

I'm not going to lie, I would use the Voice of Huey to drop women's panties across the globe. And the girls here know that Huey can barely get the "H" out of "Hello Ladies" before their underwear is replaced with a wanton desire to jump him til they may jump no more. I would be drunk with that power. And that is why Huey has the voice, and I do not." ~Buckshot George

okay, yeah, that was a long ass quote, but it was my favorite part and it explained the really great line:

"And the girls here know that Huey can barely get the "H" out of "Hello Ladies" before their underwear is replaced with a wanton desire to jump him til they may jump no more. I would be drunk with that power." ~Buckshot George on I'm going to kill a frog

sometimes i really love my life. lmao!

eat the foots

one ugly dog, R.I.P.
Originally uploaded by guano

Name 5 people of GTP that you find attractive and why? This isn’t a sexual question, and list in no specific order.

five people...ugh. i don't think i can actually pick 5 people and call them attractive above others. JEEZ!

so you know who gets on this list? the last 5 people to visit my profile:

refreshed a/o 2:06:54 pm 6/12/8:

MannyRue

IV KAKASHI VI

ThorRider48

now u dead

th1n blue l1ne

the only one i know is thin blue line...and i've been friends with him for probably 5 years now? you see that picture up there? that's what i always pictured when i thought of you vi.

yeah, that's right. viol8r eats his foot foots.

a one word description in so many words

What all artists fear.
Originally uploaded by kirstiecat

What's one word that describes you?

unoriginal.

i think that pretty much sums it up. i try to stick to that as part of my philosophy. here's the rest:

never, and i mean never, believe you truly stand a part from the rest. you don't. you're the same as every body else. there is no longer a truly original thought or a truly original idea. there never has been in my life time i can tell you that. never worry about being the same or different from anyone else. it's unimportant in the grand scheme of it all and if you think that you're so fucking special that everyone around you wants to be you, wants to have EXACTLY the same things you have you're a moron.

every time you throw on your eyeliner and do a little twist or add an extra line...don't think you're different. because someone has done it before you. someone, somewhere at some point in time. our ideas, thoughts, concepts and inventions are very rarely conceived all on our own. most ideas are part of a collective thought process that goes on naturally with our without one anothers prior knowledge.

notice how i said collective. what i mean by that is this. you can be standing in the middle of china and all of a sudden decide you want to create an atom bomb. guess what, someone in mexico had the exact same thought at the exact same moment.

a girl in japan decides she feels like wearing a pink skirt. you are wearing the exact same skirt and you swear no one else has one where you live. the next week a co-worker walks by with the exact same skirt.

i think what bothers me is anyone who believes that they're so fucking original that no one else should EVER buy anything that they buy, do anything that they do or hang out with the people that they hang out with. there are actually people like that.

here's my favorite one (and i notice that girls do this more than anyone.): "dude, did you see so-and-so's hair? she just put streaks in it. i put streaks in my hair two months ago! what a copy cat. everytime i do something SHE goes and does it. EVERY SINGLE TIME!"

and they actually believe it....seriously. here's the thing, i bet you no one even noticed in the first place because i sure as hell didn't.

people do what people do. is it original? not really. not anymore.

life isn't about a competition. that's what video games are for.

the reflection through a looking glass

Travelers Reflection
Originally uploaded by J.H.C.

If you could switch places with any member of GTP who would it be and why?

have you ever walked next to someone on the street and wondered what they're thinking? what they're life might be like or how different it might be from your own? i have. i think every one does at some point. it's a very natural impulse. call it curiosity or a deep need to know that you're not the only one who's life sucks so badly.

there were days where i'd pretend i had something much like a looking glass. a little crystal ball that i could look through as i passed people on the street. in my mind i could read your thoughts or actually visually see exactly what you were thinking or take a peek at what goes on behind closed doors. in my mind everyone had a looking glass. a little crystal ball that we could carry everywhere. no one was ever alone. you could trade as you passed each other on the street and exchange lives, if you should choose to, but no one ever did. i had a very over active imagination as you can tell.

i wished i could trade places with the people who's lives i invaded with my crystal ball. i wanted to know what it felt like to be someone else, have different parents and live a completely different life. would my parents be together still? would they both love me? would i have a dog or a cat? a boy or a girl?

i secretly wished it over and over again. i wished i could be someone else so badly that i could cry. i would cry. i've never told anyone that before. i haven't wished i could trade places with anyone in many years, but i remember the feeling. i remember how utterly horrified i was with my life. the day i realized it would always be this way for me and there was nothing i could do about it. it feels painfully lonley.

i think if there was someone i could trade places with it would be...Buckey. He has the coolest fucking hair EVER!

of course if it was truly up to me, i'd be switching places with everyone at will. lol!

i escaped imprisionment

Under Arrest
Originally uploaded by Changa_Lion

Have you ever been arrested? If the answer is yes, what did you get arrested for?

it was christmas time in east los angeles. it may have been somewhere not east los angeles, but i really can't remember. all i know is that i was in a largely hispanic neighborhood with my cousin and his girlfriend. we were in a sears department store and i of course had no money. i didn't go with them intending on pulling of the biggest heist of my life. i was just along for the trip... and to see if my cousin's girlfriend would follow through on her promise.

she was going to pay for my 2nd piercings. something my mother forbade me from doing and something i hid from my cousins girlfriend. she was a little dumb. i remember feeling a little embarassed that i didn't have very nice earings on. well, i spotted the most beautiful pair of gold loope earings.

they weren't just any pair you see. they were fancy. yeah, fuck off, i was into hoops in the 80's. crappers. well, i fucked up. i lingered too long when i held the earings in my hand. and the problem was i went back. clearly looking like a rookie theif i'm sure i was spotted right off the bat. i thought i was being slick, but i wasn't slick enough.

i got separated from my cousin, his girlfriend was getting her manicure elsewhere. i started to go outside to meet up with my cousin at the indoor swap meet next door, but a security guard came huffing up to me. i kicked him hard between the legs before he got a word out and i ran for my life. when he caught his breath he took off after me. i was surprised he could move that fast. i huffed and puffed and pounded my legs into the pavement making my way past a few pedestrians.

i ran across the street without looking and was nearly hit by a car, but i was too fast for it. showing off i slid off the edge of the hood and kept running until i got inside the swap meet. as the flurry of people inside began swallowing me up i turned around and saw the guard bent over cursing under his breath with his hands on his knees. he never made it across the street. i met up with my cousin and he never knew what happened, then his girlfriend got my ears pierced. i donned my new earings and showed them off....

that's how it happened and i'm sticking to it. okay, some people might tell you that i was taken into a back room and threatened with arrest. that i was handcuffed and chained to a bench. that no one could find me for hours. that i cried like a baby and that when he asked me for my moms number i couldn't remember it. actually i coudln't remember anything. the really sad part about it was that i was probably 13 maybe 14? i couldn't even remember my own address.

i did eventually, i mean he actually felt so sorry for me he was trying to comfort me. my cousin eventually found me and the guard got a hold of my mother. i may have given him the number i can't remember. my cousin was horrified. not that i was caught stealing mind you. just that i'd been lost for 4 hrs and he didn't know what to do. i think i was supposed to meet him at the swap meet next door and when i didn't make it he went everywhere looking for me never thinking i'd still be at the sears.

i did get my ears pierced that day. probably because i coudlnt' stop crying and my cousin didn't know what else to do. we eventually laughed our asses off. they told me how lucky i was that they didn't arrest me. when i got home my mother wasn't exactly the happiest person. it wasn't that she was angry actually. it was that she became so fucking hysterical that my aunt, uncle and other cousins where there. in fact, because it was christmas time i think there were a few more aunts there i had to contend with. let me tell you, you don't want to fuck with your aunts. oh the fucking unbelievable GUILT TRIP!

my mom was crying, hysterical and just...fucking RETARDED! and my aunts didn't hesitate in laying it on as thick as they could. i was almost relieved when my mom spotted the 2nd piercing. now that reaction was the shit....i'd almost do it all over again just to piss her off that much.

a three hour tour...a three hour tour

Don't drop your camera! **An UPDATE**
Originally uploaded by Island-Life

Why is it when people are asked what 3 things they would bring to a desert island...no one ever says "a boat"????

usually because the question is "stranded on a desert island" meaning, the boat was smashed to bits and you're never going home. of'course if i had the choice i'd bring my waterproof digicam, a waterproof worldwide gps mega smartphone and a vibrator....WHAT? you filthy bastards, for the batteries. i'll need them so i can build a laptop made from palm trees and coconuts.

then i'll blog and take pictures to chronicle my stay, which won't be long by the way. i heard you can ride all the way home on giant sea turtles.

hmmm...you know, i could always bring a professor, a movie star and a millionaire instead. they'd probably be good company.

hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil

hear no evil - see no evil - speak no evil
Originally uploaded by http://www.flickr.com/people/mjaquet/

Hearing, seeing, talking - if you have to give up just one of these, which one will it be?

i'm having a hard time starting this post only because i can't imagine anyone being able to make a very good choice here... i mean, more like an honest choice or rather any choice at all.

personally i fear losing my eyesight and vision. not being able to speak would be pretty horrible too, but i can always learn to type even faster. when i was a kid i used to eat carrots every day. probably more than i should because i learned that the vitamins aid in eye sight. i figured i didn't want to go blind so i ate a lot of carrots. my mom thought it was because i was emulating bugs bunny.

i'm glad she never caught me prentending to have no arms, or legs. i would also pretend i was blind. i'd wake up and not open my eyes and start my day. take a shower, shampoo, condition, wash, dry off and make my way back to my room. i'd choose my clothes, socks, pants, shirt...eyes closed. when i'd open my eyes i'd be wearing different color socks, the wrong shoes or mismatched outfits.

i did, however, learn to pour tea in a cup. but i would spill a little. sometimes i cheated, but i figured i was only cheating myself because i would invevitably go blind. i also would inevitably lose one or all of my limbs and would practice dragging myself from the bedroom to the living room. or get dressed with one arm.

i suppose that if i lost any of my senses i'd actually be pretty well prepared. the only thing i'm not prepared to lose is an organ that i can't live without....or like.... my head. Man...that would suck ass.

Shirt Suffing Superhero

Being Thirteen
Originally uploaded by brancusi7

Have you ever stuffed your shirt with leaves and ran around outside pretending to be the Hulk? If the answer is no, then why not?

are you effin kidding me? of course i stuffed leaves in my shirt. i stuffed leave, socks, pants, shirts, dresses...whatever i could to pretend i was the hulk. i'd chase my little sister around the living room and make her scream bloody murder.

i did all sorts of crazy things when i was a kid. i'd jump on the firehydrant in front of my house to try to fly. i would literally climb it, stand on top of it and concentrate for a good long while. i'd will my entire body to feel the power of flight within. slowly rising my first into the air my little feet would rise from the firehydrant and within seconds i was in the air...and faster than a speeding bullet i'd slam into the ground.

the next thing you'd know i'd be spining around in circles, throwing my tiara around and lassoing the first evil lizard i could find...it was too bad i didn't know lizards actually needed food. i killed a few in mayo jars. when i showed my older cousin my prize he taught me that every living creature needed to breath and eat.

so we put some holes in the jar and fed it. they never lasted long as i was too busy saving the world. it's hard being the hulk-super-wonder woman... and... benny hill. let's not forget benny hill. what???? is that wierd?

co-op gaming with rigid

Enemy Territory: Quake Wars
Originally uploaded by N-ohea

How important is co-op gaming to you in a game you are thinking of buying? What games have done this well and what have done it poorly or needed it but didn't have it?

co-op gaming is an integral part of our relationship. it adds a dimension to it that is probably missing in a lot of other people's relationship. maybe they make up for it in another way, like watching the same movies perhaps or loving the same books. rigid and i don't really agree much when it comes to movies. actually we don't agree much when it comes to anything, but we can agree on a good co-op game....usually.

i'm looking at a couple right now, but i'm still undecided because i know rigid isn't all that keen on those two; army of two and et: quake wars. i haven't demo'd et:qw yet, but for some reason i'm leaning more towards it. it's probably because of my northenders friends, still, i haven't really seen much catch my eye.

to be perfectly honest, co-op isn't quite as important as a good online multiplayer like cod, rb6 or gr. i just got my first gamefly game in the mail yesterday and it was army of two. i wanted to try it out as soon as i could, but my neighbor was there and rigid was making dinner so i decided to show him my dance dance and humiliate myself.

when it came time to try out the army of two rigid simply went into the other room and jumped on his cod4...he didn't even give it a chance and wasn't at all interested in playing with me.

today will be different because when i get home, i'll jump on my ddr for a bit then i'll dance my foot right up his ass and puppeteer him into seeing things my way.

co-op does a body good.

Wild Night With GTPs Finest by Dirtyeffinjimjo

Pick one GTPer to have a wild night. What would the night consist of?

Wow, like the rest of us locals I couldnt pick just one, too hard to make such an important decision. I would need My Sis ofcourse cause shes a goodie goodie and wouldnt know how too handle the debachery to come.Then to start it off right Toadie, Bunny, Cookie, Paintrain, Pitbull666666, Woh86,Thin Blue Line (because lets face it, aside from being cool as fuck, who doesnt need a cop to keep them in line in a all out drunk fest like this would be!) PunisherUK, Shadow, Sham666, Wrexless racer, Lanseril storm(to go against us ay any given time) xKslicex, ABw5959 and thats just starting off the night.

We would all find an establishment with darts and shufleboard when Davy, Bucky and Huey would finally walk in from there strip basketball session at the mens Y. Ofcourse it wouldnt be a party if there wasnt kareoke, and the wonderful vocal stylings of the one and only xWuchx who would have everyone in tears with his beautiful cover of Cher's "believe" then bring us all back up with some awesome journey covers.Not long after 'Believing' would sauntee in The GODS, Cereal killer chick, Gumber, Duality, Don jerry, Diva, H2phorexia, Spartan 117c and ofcourse YOURGOD78 who would be away but there then away but there,lol.

Arriving shortly there after by way of mystical flying dragons and unicorns would be rahzarATTACK and her puppy She-Ra, Cursed Eagle, LanaSue, UnexpectedError, Ar1zona420 and Thee Heefer cause thats how they roll yo! we would all be smokin and drinkin up a storm when Kill Ivan and CaliDoll would finally show up with Brohemoth (mr drillshafter) along with Phantom Silo, Y2Kevin and Raitchison. we would all still be waiting on Blazing Dragon when BanginNleavin would show with Pink Dino extremely plastered and ready to ride mechanical bulls, shortly there after Blazing would arrive, late due to a marijuana possesion ticket and compleatly coincidentaly Blazin Caucasion would arrive shorty there after by dog sled in the police uniform that Dragon just wimpered to about going to jail.

After a few pints the joke would set in and just in time too because yo know it aint no party without Stroke deisel and Anfone, which somehow arrived together even though there 8 billion miles apart and never met, thats there story to tell though. Maha, Pumpo and Rigid would arrive high as kites on some weird hollywood cocktail speaking of Jack thompsons cyborg cousin and the electric light parade at disneyland. Finally my home gurl XxFireFli would show up with her beautiful new child and set the mood to "awwwwwwwwwww" mode for the arrival of the one and only, Zamees! who would promptly start challenging everyone to golden tee 96 and swear he wasnt on LSD, AGAIN!. Rounding of the night would be one giant game of strip pint snorkling and shuffle board showdown where the loser has to lay across the table while bucky (face it he'll win everytime) launched pucks into their groin area's.

I cant forget about my newer friends as well, Evil Mermaid would show up and set the room off with her impressions of midget acrobats and Stupidtendo would arrive with his accoustic guitar singing Slipknot covers to the tune of the white album just for kicks, EleventhX would be mooching free drinks from everyone (tha flirt,lol) And ya know AQpotato would be rawkin the hardest nipples ever!.

I think we could all call it a night around 6am so some could get back to their loved ones, some of which would be introduced that night and hotel bound in the morning and the newest GTP romance, There would be no DUI's because Thin Blue Line would have stolen all our keys and all our hangovers would be magically cured by Davy and his miracal Elixer. That wold be one hell of a night, if i forgot you, no i didnt you were there I was just too drunk too remember and so were you, remember?


Movie Quote of the day From Terror Firmer, A Llyod Kaufman classic:

Jacob Gelman: Do you want some chocolate? I didn't think so. I eat this stuff all the time. White chocolate, dark chocolate. Of course I eat dark chocolate with meat and white chocolate with fish.

***********

Maha's quick thought:

The best fucking line in this post: jimjo wrote, "if i forgot you, no i didnt you were there I was just too drunk too remember and so were you, remember? " Holy hell... I was laughing my ass off!!! The best I've seen in a long time dude. I was ROLLING!

Blown In Vegas

whores in motion
Originally uploaded by S. Balcomb

You have $50K to blow at Vegas in a night, how do you go about it?

I have to say, if I had 50k to blow in Vegas I think I'd get Rigid the best hooker I could find. Now, now, let's not get all in a tizzy. Even Rigid would be making a funny face at me right now because he thinks I'm a jealous woman. I like to let him think that because honestly... you can tell it makes him feel good. He likes it.

A little, "You where staring at that whore's ass weren't you? You.... NAUGHTY boy!" SMACK! Right in the kisser. It makes him giggle.

I love it. 'Course, I don't tell many people but I'm what you might say, a bit on the liberal side and watching Rigid with a whore would be the best gift a man could ever give a me. So long as I'm there, I'm good. What's the point in paying for something if you're not going to enjoy it too right?

Exactly.

OKAY THEN.... back to reality. Rigid would probably poop his pants if he read that. In fact, I think i'll print it out for him and leave the rest out. Man, if I ever caught my husband with a hooker I'd probably laugh my ass off first. Wanna know what I'd really use the 50k for in Vegas?

A proper desert burial.

Tuna Tip: get flocked! seriously... because if you're obsessive like me and love to stay on top of friend content it's a great way to do it. "Flock - the browser for people who like to be connected
Get ready to meet your new favorite browser!" ~ Flock, the social web browser.

A Gamers Love Affair

Chalks affair
Originally uploaded by .Amir

I'll have to tread lightly here. You never know who might be reading and I don't want to get anyone into trouble. I'm totally lying by the way. You see, I fell in love online. No, it's not what you think. It truly was a torrid love affair. I was married and my relationship was on it's way out the door. What I mean by that is the documents were downloaded, filled out, signed, stamped, delivered and pending. I was broken hearted and devastated, but I never let anyone see. I never let anyone in or see the truth behind the...I would say smile, but I don't smile much. Facade?

Friends and family asked me, sometimes demanded an explanation from me, but I didn't have one. I couldn't think of one. I knew in my heart why my relationship was over, but I couldn't utter it. Not really. I created my Live account earlier that year and I made so many good friends. I leaned on them though they didn't know it. Eventually a few of us got to know each other better. Gaming everyday, chatting online and in forums... a few of us even exchanged phone numbers. Slowly but surely I became really close to someone. We shared everything. Every dirty little secret, every complaint, every like and dislike. We didn't know it then, but we were falling in love.

I thought about what it would be like. We both admitted to having dreams about one another. It would bother me that in my dreams I struggled to see his face. I might catch him out of the corner of my eye. When and if I caught up to him my head would hurt and my eyes would blur as if I was trying to look at something I could never see, trying to look at something I could never have...should never have.

It wasn't long before we met, he didn't live far from me and if it hadn't been for my impending divorce I never would have had the courage to do what I did. I met him at his place and when we laid eyes on each other never once felt that awkwardness that you do when you meet someone new. Things felt easy and uncomplicated. I knew him heart and soul and he knew mine. We were together that night...just one night.

No one in my life had ever made me feel that way. So complete and at peace with myself. I felt that I had found a soul mate. How can you find a soul mate when you've just ended your marriage with the only soul mate you thought you'd ever have? But the feeling was mutual and we held each other tight falling asleep in each others arms. The next morning we parted ways, but before I did he professed his love and his utter devotion to me. He told me he wanted this to be the last time he ever let me go because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, if I would have him. I was so choked up I couldn't speak, for a second he thought I didn't feel the same way and his face dropped. I kissed him and shared my tears with his.

A year later we were in Mexico in our home. It was a beautiful home made from sun-dried earthen clay as were the rest of the homes in that area. We didn't have much furniture but the little furniture that decorated the house was beautiful, heavy and darkly lacquered. I was standing by an open window hearing the sounds. There was a fiesta, it was Dia De Los Muertos and people lined the streets drinking, smoking, eating and celebrating the dead. I walked over to the living room to find my love and stepped on a toy. It was a babies toy. I just stared at it as if I had no idea where it came from. I looked to the right and saw an empty baby walker and my heart slowly filled with pain. He saw me standing there and held me from behind, close and tight. He whispered to me that everything would be alright because he loved me so much and his love was strong enough for the two of us. I just stood there. I felt nothing. There was a deep void in my heart and I didn't know how to fill it.

He kissed my neck and walked away. I turned to him wanting to say something, but he walked out the door. After a moment I went after him. I didn't want to be alone. He wasn't far from me. Only a few houses and I walked briskly to catch up. I wanted to forget everything. I wanted him to take me into his arms whisper how much he loved me again. We were walking down a dirt path and it was dark out. You could hear music echoing everywhere.

He came upon a clearing and faced a couple of men. I'd never seen them before and this made me stop short. I stood there in the shadows watching and as I stood there black ants began crawling around my feet. Before you knew it they were all over my legs, my feet were bare as I was only wearing sandals. I brushed them away frantically and jumped to get away. Just then he turned to me and smiled, but as I got closer my head began to hurt and my eyes began to blur. Everything was getting brighter. There was a fire pit surrounded by a few of the native people and they all smiled at me, but their smiles were too bright. The fire began bouncing around everywhere and became brighter and brighter. The light hurt my eyes and made them water so that when I tried to look at his beautiful face I struggled to see it. Yet I couldn't and in my frustration I tried to hold it close to my own so that I might see him truly. The harder I tried the brighter things became until his skin became transparent.

Actually it was luminescent...the light wasn't coming from the fire, it was coming from him. It was literally emanating from within him. I stopped trying to see him and let him kiss me, but before he did I heard him whisper, "Maharet...Maha. What are you doing? Are you asleep...silly poppet. Wake up my love. I'm here. I'll always be here for you, with you. Don't cry baby, it's okay. I'm here."

I heard whimpering and a gun shot. When I opened my eyes I saw his character right in the middle of my screen, as though he could see me through the television radiating in my dark living room. He bobbed up and down in the familiar way then threw a grenade at my feet hoping to wake me up. "What happened?" I said half laughing.

"Are you drooling? Cause I think you're drooling dude. You were sleeping like a baby." he said as he looking down at my dead body.

"Oh my god, how embarrassing. I've never done that before." wiping the drool that had collected at the corner of my mouth. "GOD...I WAS drooling. How the fuck did you know?"

"I know you like the back of my ass baby." he said gracefully tea bagging my face.

"Duuuude, I had the weirdest fucking dream! HOLY..." and proceeded to tell him.

When I was finished we were both quiet for a moment. He broke the silence by saying, "I'm sorry Maha. I do love you, you know that, but...I never expected things to be this way you know?"

"I know." I said, not expecting an explanation.

"We were finished, It was over. It really was, but there's no way. Not when she drops a bomb like that on me." his voice began to shake.

"I know. I don't need you to tell me. I know." and taking a deep breath said, "You have a family to take care of soon and you don't need to worry about me I'll be fine."

He paused for a moment taking it all in and said, "God I love you so much. I wish it was you. I look at her every night and I close my eyes wishing to god it could be you carrying my baby. Sometimes I wonder if she's lying. If she said it because I asked her for a divorce you know?"

"If that were true you wouldn't still be with her. I know you...you know in your heart she's not lying. You know." my voice quivered as I emphasized those last two words and I began to cry silently.

We stayed quiet for a minute and sniffed at exactly the same time. Suddenly we broke out laughing and crying and laughing again. We played all night well into the wee morning hours. It was the last time we ever played together. Sometimes I still think it was all a dream.

Was he just a dream?

Games That Whet The Appetite

What was the first game you played that really had you hooked?
i'm not going to go back to the very first game i ever played that got me hooked on gaming because... i'm fucking old and you know what? i don't want to think about pong like that. not pong, pac man, mario brothers, legend of zelda, or tomb raider....

here are a couple Misreviews I did on my blog the other day. Kind of fit so... woot!:

Armored Core 4

Armored Core
Originally uploaded by Bullet Dragon {X}

I was just reading a few posts down below (on misreviews blog) about the day I heard Armored Core 4 was coming out. I was so excited I could have eaten my own poop. I remember the day I brought the game home.

It was like...magical. Too bad the game sucked monkey balls. I was so fucking disappointed it's not even funny. I still haven't finished the game and I bought it ages ago. Man, I don't think I even got past the first 5 levels. Maybe I set it too hard. Maybe the truth is that I really do suck...Maybe I'm the one that sucks monkey balls!!! RIGID! Rigid has monkey balls....lol

One day I shall go back to that game and finish it on easy, like stupid easy. I'll set up a new AC and just be done with it.

Back in the day when I first started playing this on the playstation it was the shit. Better than sliced bread I tell you. I loved it and I couldn't get enough nor could my friends. The third Armored Core game I got wasn't all that great either, but I figured the graphics would be fantastic on the 4th game and I was right.

It's a beautiful game. The graphic's alone are enough to make you weep and bring you to your knees...grab you by the bollocks and pinch really hard.... wait...what?

Yeah, so even though I hated the game and never picked it up again I am still loyal to the series (if anything ever comes out again) and I'll always be a fan. The intense amount of fun I used to have playing the old games is enough for me to waste my money forever on something I'll probably only play once.

THAT'S how I feel about Armored Core....

I love you Kayhman(my AC)...I still have you on a memory card somewhere. One day I'll take you back out and treat you to a really perfect generator...maybe some lube.... a new paint job and some really fucking kick ass monster guns..... one day.

Halo

Master Chief Head stand
Originally uploaded by davescunningplan

A friend introduced the Xbox to me and The Master Cheif. Good times. I think anyone that's never tried it should at least once, but you need plenty of friends to try it with.

Halo isn't something you can enjoy to the fullest all on your own. Great games and really great graphic's from the start.

The story is among the very best out there, but I do have to say the last one wasn't all that great. Story wise and graphics wise it was as close to perfection as you could get, but the playability didn't live up to the hype.

I still have Halo 3 and I doubt I'd ever go so far as to get rid of it, but I don't have many friends who are still willing to go a few rounds and even when I do it's just not as much fun as it used to be. Well, they're pretty much the only thing that makes it fun.

Too bad too.

Ah right...the point. So the point is, maybe these games are old, and maybe no one wants to play the current ones because, well. Let's be honest, they're been overplayed period so until the technology changes drastically every subsequent series that gets released may actually be just as much of a disappointment if not more. Still, these are the types of games that can really, well and truly, reel your mother fucking ass in to the world wide world of gaming. The first games I was hooked on? I just can't go there because I tend to be obsessive about every god damned thing I can think of.

But I can easily say these two games you see here... I've played the living shit out of them.

The Perfect Dashboard

Xbox 360 Dashboard 1
Originally uploaded by Steven J Weir

Is there any feature you would like to add to your 360 dashboard?

Personally I can't stand the Xbox 360 Dashboard. I get the feeling this post is going to belong in the Misreviewed section of my pages, but since it's a topic I'll keep it under the Miscellanists blog.

So the Dashboard was created to stay on top of all the new content available from Xbox Live and give us users a great interface with which to load games, access downloaded games and otherwise give people without a PC a lot of things not readily available to them.

That's great, but I need better navigation and search features. Right now I feel like a monkey picking my brains every time I open up the Dashboard. Like someone thinks I'm too stupid to figure out where everything might be. Maybe it's just me.

I don't jump on it as much as I used to either. I used to be all over the new content and downloading anything that was free, but you know... Not all that interested anymore. All they do is feed us a load of garbage. Everything that's worth anything has a cost and you know what? If you want me to pay a subscription fee then you'd better give me better content for free (and I don't mean advertisements either. Have you ever heard of downloading an advert???). I'm not saying that these things don't cost money. I understand that everyone has the right to make some cash, but seriously you're going to make me pay for a video clip? A 4 minute music clip that I could get on the Internet in two seconds and won't take away 10 of my life, sometimes more, downloading?

No thanks, I'd rather not. Also, I'm not sure about this, but how can I get pictures from my video camera to my pc...or at least store the pic's on my xbox? Anyone have a clue about that one because Rigid took the most adorable pic's of Grendel on his box and I need them...NOW. .... .... I'm okay.... I think I need food. lol

I really suck ass at this topic thing, but here are some suggestions I saw on the Gamespot Forums Dashboard Ideas thread:

"...I would like to see a bandwidth speed check so I know exactly what network speed my XBOX is getting." (obviously no one cares what your bandwidth speed check thingy is buddy.... wtf is th...oh.... never mind. actually, yeah no, that idea still sucks booboo.)

....yeah, that was the only one. HAHAHAHA!

Well, since that thread didn't work out how about the Spring Dashboard Update Ideas thread:

"to make it when you scroll over a persons name on your friend's list, it show with what they are doing in the game. " (Yeah! I love being nosy, plus a feature that you can see what they're playing and IF you have the game so people stop sending stupid invites to games I don't have because they're too fucking lazy to look at the "compare games" list.... wow... I didn't know I was so angry about this, thanks cookster! (that's you cookie me luv) I get lazy too though. lol)

"fix the caching issues when choosing a new profile icon." (wtf? I don't get it.)

"I wish they would let you delete gamerscore points that you don't want. For example, I only have 10 points for Dead or Alive 4, and I don't want that on there. But that most likely will never happen. Ummm, 3 way chat possibly? " (meh... I can live with it, but I also get it)

"Multiple Person Private Chat, for up to 4" (now this i could live with)

"Disable Dashboard ads/shortcuts" (disable those mother f'n ads of give me free access! Down with Existenz!!!! Look it up...it's a movie.)

"Web Browser
Full HTML support, and preferrably Flash as well" (You see!! I'm not the only crazy person thinking this! I'm not that original.... see!!!! Gimme what I want!)

woohooo....i'm kind of liking this topic thing. GOD I'm so lazy lately. woot! ~ teh mighteh maha...h

Getting Creative With Names

My XBOX360 Gamertag
Originally uploaded by lisamac

If you had to change your gamertag for any reason, what would you choose?

I have to admit, I didn't really think about it much at all when I created my Xbox Live gamertag back in the day. I've always used the name Maharet. It's difficult for me to remember stupid little things like user id's, passwords and telephone numbers.

Still, in the last few months I've been giving it a lot of thought and I might be ready to change my online identity as a whole. OOOhhh....ominous sounding no? Yes well, leave it to me to make something as simple as changing ones name so fucking enormously complicated.

Truth of the matter is that I'm a little sentimental about the name. Even though Rigid couldn't remember my name when he tried to add my gamertag he said it made an impact on him. He told me it stood out from other gamertags online back then. I liked his name as well. I didn't know what the hell it meant and even when he tried to explain it to me I still didn't understand, but I think it went well with his personality. He truly is rather rigid you know...and I'm talking about his personality nothing more.

Today I'm still Maharet on Live, but here and there you'll see my name pop up as Maharet Raider. I'd never change my gamertag to Maharet Raider, but I've been thinking about Leeloo.
If I do change my gamertag I'll want to do it with Rigid...I think this is a jump we'll have to take together. I think that would make the transition a whole lot easier for the two of us. We could say goodbye to Rigid and Maharet and hello to...something.

Maybe we'll take a poll one day but for now, what do you guys think of these:

I think this one's a bit pussified, but cute:
Arthur & Guinevere:The legendary King Arthur and his queen are at the center of a huge corpus of medieval and post-medieval literature.

I don't think Rigid would appreciate Lancelot. He was thinking more along the lines of Monkeyball Ferret or...something like that:
Lancelot & Guinevere...that's better because her heart belonged to Lancelot.

I think he wanted to name Grendell Clovis so that would work. That and my friends could nickname me Clitilda AHAHAHAHA! *snort *:
Clovis & Clotilda: Clovis defeated the last Roman ruler in Gaul and conquered various Germanic peoples in what is today France. Clotilda ultimately convinced Clovis to convert to Catholicism though he remained sympathetic to Arian Christianity.

Cause me and the Hooha are bad ass...No wait. The Spanish Inquisition, shit, was that a failure? I sucked in history.:
Ferdinand & Isabella: The "Catholic Monarchs" of Spain united Castile and Aragon when they married. Together, they overcame civil war, completed the reconquista by defeating the last Moorish holdout of Granada, and sponsored the voyages of Columbus. They also expelled the Jews and began the Spanish Inquisition.

Does this one remind you of anybody? Does it?:
Etienne de Castel & Christine de Pizan: The time Christine had with her husband was a mere ten years. His death left her in financial straits, and she turned to writing to support herself. Her works included love ballads dedicated to the late Etienne.

Hysterical:
Gareth & Lynette: In the Arthurian tale of Gareth & Lynette, first told by Malory, Gareth proves himself to be chivalrous, even though Lynette heaps scorn upon him.

This one's good because I expect no less from Rigid, though I don't like the idea of being called Philippa:
Geoffrey & Philippa Chaucer: He is considered the quintessential medieval English poet. She was his devoted wife for more than twenty years. While they were wed Geoffrey Chaucer led a busy, successful life in service to the king. After her death, he endured a solitary existence and wrote his most notable works, including Troilus and Criseyde and The Canterbury Tales.

Holy shit...if this isn't perfect I don't know what is. It's like my life has already been lived:
"Henry Plantaganet & Eleanor of Aquitaine: At the age of 30, the bold, beautiful Eleanor of Aquitaine was divorced from her husband, the meek and mild King Louis VII of France, and married the brash young 18-year-old Henry Plantaganet, future king of England. The two would have a tempestuous marriage,...."

Rigid would never go for this, but I do like Nimue. I've thought of it before:
Merlin & Nimue: Arthur's most trusted advisor may have been a wizard, but Merlin was also a man, susceptible to the charms of women. Nimue (a.k.a.Vivien, Nineve or Niniane) was so charming she was able to ensorcel Merlin and trap him in a cave, where he was unable to help Arthur in his time of darkest trouble.

Aw, now this is romantic:
Robert Guiscard & Sichelgaita: Sichelgaita (or Sikelgaita) was a Lombard princess who married Guiscard, a Norman warlord, and proceeded to accompany him on many campaigns. Anna Comnena wrote of Sichelgaita: "When dressed in full armor, the woman was a fearsome sight." When Robert died during the siege of Cephalonia, Sichelgaita was right by his side.

This is great because I always imagine Rigid is someone else when were... Just kidding!:
Uther & Igraine: Arthur's father Uther was king, and he coveted the wife of the Duke of Cornwall, Igraine. So Merlin cast a spell on Uther to make him look like Cornwall, and while the real duke was out fighting, he slipped in to have his way with the virtuous lady. The result? Cornwall died in battle, and Arthur was born nine months later.